One Day Closer To You

I had one of the most handsome sons in my life for 23 days.  I miss him. That is the biggest understatement of the century.  My body aches for him. My arms feel empty. My heart is broken.  But with God, I can overcome anything. It may take time. Lots of it. I know it will take time to work through these emotions.  It's hard to type this because I feel so many mixed emotions. I'm glad Liam is home with Jesus, in no more pain.  I'm selfish and want him back here.  I'm confused as to why I had him early. Mad that my body couldn't just hold on to him in there longer.  Jealous of those who are still pregnant.  Guilty that I feel jealous.  I'm wondering if we made the right decision or if we let go too soon.  I'm unsure if all these feelings betray my faith in God's plan for our life.    I want to hold him more. Kiss his soft hairy, tiny head. Feel his little fingers grip mine, because when I finally got to hold him today, he just wouldn't let go of my fin

Many of you know that I had Liam on October 15, 2014. He was born at 23 gestational weeks, being 17 weeks premature. I was admitted to naval hospital camp Lejeune around 12:45 am october 15 and Liam arrived at 0941 on the same day. I was told by multiple doctors and nurses that he would not survive birth. He weighed 1 pound, 1 ounce and was as handsome as could be. He was 10 inches long and his first cry was tiny, but the best sound in the world. Praise God #1  We were not given much hope from the doctors of his being able to be resuscitated. We were not given much hope of them being able to intubate him or give him the ivs he needed because he was "too small." Going in to this, danny and I agreed 100% that we wanted the doctors to do everything they could for him, but whatever God willed, we would still praise His name. The doctors were able to resuscitate, intubate and get ivs into him. Praise God #2 We were told transporting him would be a very unstable event and he might

So I read somewhere online that between 3 and 4 am, your body is at it's weakest point of the day and you are more likely to die in your sleep during that hour. Weird.  It's 3:19 am.  I'm not dead. And I also haven't posted many photos for the photo a day I challenged myself. Of course, we've had bigger fish to fry lately. Not that Liam is a fish. So anyway, here are a few photos I've taken just for fun.  A moment of still and quiet. When I say a moment, I mean about 2.3 seconds in real life. Haha, I wouldn't change it and I'm anxious to see how different Sammy and Liam's personalities are.  My silly boy! He knows when I'm not feeling super peppy and he does his best to cheer me up. :) I kinda really like that about him.  We are blessed that Gram and Papa are able to visit for a short while with us. It's been quite a length of time since we've seen them. Long overdue, but hey that's life for ya. We're going to enjoy them being her

When I titled my blog "one day closer to you" several years ago, I was using it as a tool to help me get through a deployment. Then it was the second long deployment Danny was doing. It was my first being up here without family around me the whole time. It was also the first seven months I had ever driven myself EVERYWHERE.  Now, my blog is about getting closer and closer to bringing Liam home! That day is still a bit away, but I praise God for every day of forward progress Liam makes.  Yes, it's quite an adjustment. I'm physically fine after giving birth, but there are moments when I just feel overwhelmed. Here's the list of overwhelming things that run through my mind: Pumping milk for Liam Sammy continuing school Sammy's constant questions about everything but his brother Sammy magically thinking food appears in the fridge completely prepared Food/groceries for days we aren't able to go see Liam (believe it or not, I'm realizing I want a happy balan

Breast feeding mom problem #1: none of your bras fit the slightest bit anymore.  I wouldn't change my opinion on breastfeeding or change my mind about doing this for Liam.  Anyway, we are about to get up and ready to go see our boy. With that comes packing up all the frozen and refrigerated milk that I pump on days we canmt make it down there. We've inadvertently become milk delivery drivers! I wonder if we could get some special assistance for that! Just kidding.  On a serious note however, many of you have asked how you can help and until now, my ask has been pray for and with us. I still want you all the do that, but if any one gets a newspaper subscription or can nab a few free papers (around here it's The Globe,) I would appreciate it greatly. The lactation nurse said to insulate the milk with newspapers and if some of y'all could help with getting some papers together, it would take a little bit off my plate. I will end this post a little short right now because w

As I sit here typing this, I am on my second pumping of October 17th. I want you all to know that this isn't as easy for me as you think it is. I've heard loads of "wow you're so calm." "You are so strong." "I don't think I'd be able to do this." "Your faith is amazing."  I HAVE TO TELL YOU: it's not me. IT'S GOD.  Alone, I could not have survived the trip to the hospital. Alone, I could not have given birth to a beautiful little boy. Alone, I could not have willed him to live and be a fighter. Alone, I would not have been calm or so held together. Yes I've had my moments and yes I've snapped myself back to reality with the simple thought that God has this, because I certainly couldn't imagine orcastrating something this amazing in my own life.  Let me be here to encourage you today that no matter what issue you are facing God is ready and willing to take care of the issue AND you through the issue. He says

I had started this post about half an hour ago. Had it all typed up and ready to hit publish when the Lord brought this old song my mom used to sing to me all the time back into my mind. I had to change the title of this post and everything. It's called One Day At A Time, Sweet Jesus. The song is not mine but I feel like I need to share the lyrics here to not only remind me that we aren't promised ten second from now, much less the whole day and sometimes we don't even feel we have the physical, mental or emotional strength for just that day but if we call on the name of Jesus, he will supply us with what we need exactly when we need it. So here they are followed by my post as it was typed up originally. I'm only human, I'm just a woman Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am Show me the stairway I have to climb Lord, for my sake teach me to take one day at a time One day at a time, sweet Jesus That's all I'm asking from You Just give

As I've posted in the about me section and as many of you know, we have expanded our family.  Today at 9:41am, we welcomed Liam archer into our family. He arrived 17 weeks early and here is the story for the many of you who want to know it and just so I don't forget it later on. It may be a tiny bit graphic so if that's not your thing, this is your warning. :)  Our church has been in revival this week and last night as I was running the media program, I felt like I was having braxton hicks contractions. Ya know, the ones that are kinda like a running stretching before a big race? Yea the teaser contractions that get the uterus pumped for delivery day.  Only, these started to hurt and they became regular-ish.  Well against my better judgement, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to interrupt the flow of the service if it wasn't anything serious. I went home and to bed after the service.  Around 12:20am, I woke up and noticed I was bleeding. Not a lot but

So two posts in one day. Gotta make up for missing a few days somehow!  Anyway, this week the church I attend did a Jerico walk leading up to our Lighthouse Sunday event tomorrow.  If you aren't familiar with Jerico or the bible, it's the story in Joshua 6:1-20 about how the Israelites marched around Jerico in silence once a day for six day and six times in silence and one time shouting, singing, praising God and playing music on the seventh day.  Well today was the seventh day and beige pregnant, I wasn't sure how well walking around the property of the church seven times would work out. (Hint, I survived.)  The point of my story here is I came home hot, sweaty and my feet were achy so I decided to grab a shower. While I was relaxing in the warm water, I noticed that Liam is now strong enough to make my belly visibly wobble when he kicks! Super exciting!! :) I'll be 23 weeks, (5 months 3 weeks for those of you who hate the math) on Tuesday. This boy cannot get here soo

So elephants are not allowed in our house according to Sammy. He requested that we make this sign and tape it to our front door. Hope no one comes by dressed up as an elephants. :/ 

I found this wonderfully curly leaf outside today while Sammy was playing. I was planning on keeping it.... Until Sammy took it and crushed it. :(  How like a four year old boy.  In any case, it felt wonderful today. Not too hot, not to cold. We played hopscotch and drew with sidewalk chalks. Sammy buried an anthill in pine needles and dried leaves. I'd say it was a successful afternoon outside. Sammy pretending to be a weeping angel. 

I've been occupied the last few days trying to finish a 500+ page book I've had out of the library for a month! See, back in January, I challenged myself to read 75 books this year. Then I got a "job" helping someone at local consignment shop. (That ended HORRIBLY!) anyway, I had to scale back my 75 to 52 books. I'm currently behind by two or three.  I just finished sepelchre by Kate Mosse. It is the second in a trilogy and it was okay. Kinda all over the board in my opinion. I couldn't get into it at first so that's why I had it for a month. Eek. Part of me didn't want to finish it, but I sorta couldn't just stop reading it. I know I'm behind on pictures, so I'll do a small photo dump.  This little guy was in attendance for Wednesday night bible study at my church. We had so much fun playing with him after service was over. :)  

Tonight, with my help, Sammy is learning to cook pasta. He also learned to wash dishes. The years of chores are coming up rapidly and I am getting happy! :)

This is what happens when you try to rush into a dark bathroom so your four year old won't hear that you are out of your office and come bombard you with questions. I don't think it's broken, but it sure does hurt tremendously. 

Sammy lost his first tooth!! Literally. We think he swallowed it. 

****This is actually Tuesday's post, but it never published!!**** Today was no joke. I went from a sore throat on Sunday/Monday to extremely stuffed sinuses! Couple that with being pregnant and today was just emotional. I was on the verge of tears multiple times today, especially when I had to go grocery shopping with danny and Sammy. Now it's time for me to go to sleep and I'm super excited! Haha. What normal person gets excited about bedtime? Anyway, here are the photos I promised you.  This was taken by Sammy and I honestly have no idea what it is!  This is proof that Sammy actually does eat because his teachers tell me he barely eats at school. On the positive side, he loves yogurt. And these are some jam berry nail wraps I randomly have in my house. :) goodnight. 

I don't EVER remember a time in high school that I was tired 24/7. I do however feel that way all the time now as a full time wife and mother. Whoever made this tweet is probably extremely young and still lives at home with mommy and daddy making all the decisions.  Okay, that's it. My crabby is showing and I need to go to bed. 

Is REALLY hard! Yesterday, I woke up with a sore throat. I felt like I had swallowed swords all night long, therefore I didn't take any photos yesterday.  And I still didn't feel well again today so I didn't take any photos today either. Tomorrow I promise there will be three to make up. 

So every year, Swansboro church of God hosts a women's seminar. This year's theme as closets of the heart. We had a wonderful two days worshipping together as women of God and a great message was spoken both days. I sure can't wait until next year's!!

Ah the holidays are fast approaching. All the craft store have their Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas project and decorating supplies out on the shelves. Some are even having sales on the stuff already! Last night, I was afforded a few hours to go out by myself so I headed to my favorite stores, hobby lobby and Michael's!  It has recently become a tradition on my husband's side of the family for all of his cousins and sisters to do a stocking exchange of something you really like, but you aren't supposed to spend more than $5/person so no one really breaks the bank. This is not really a challenge for me because you can find some really nifty stuff in Michael's $1-5 section, but who wants to receive the same old notebook and pen set each year or something like that? Although they do carry glow sticks. Who doesn't love glow sticks?!  Anyway, I scour the internet, aka Pinterest, for ideas because I LOVE homemade gifts. I'll take a well thought out homemade gif

I love this goober. It's so hard to believe he's going to be five in just a few months. He constantly amazes me with the knowledge he has and is always getting. I am so blessed God chose me to be his mommy. :) 

I got a tad creative today. :) I like how he turned out. Might have to do the drawing to stuffed animal things with him. 

Is a very healthy BOY!!!!!  He was not shy at all about letting us know and we could not be happier. Well, Sammy might be a little upset because he wanted a sister. He'll love having a brother though! 

This is part of my project for the past few weeks. Just a picture for Monday before we get into the really good part of the blog.  So I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas. Tomorrow I am halfway through this pregnancy and I find out whether baby swan in a girl or boy. I'm super giddy and my adrenaline is pumping hard in the good non panicky way! Today, tonight and tomorrow morning are going to feel like they drag by, but it's going to be so worth it. Please keep us in prayer that baby will cooperate! 

Sammy drew this during church. :) 

This was heaven. No, I didn't eat them all myself. Cookies and cake are my weakness.

Okay so I lied when I said you wouldn't see any pictures from me today. The first is a throwback to when Sammy was a two year old crazy head. The second is my baby bump, 19 weeks 2 days. And the third is my clean living room. 

Yesterday you didn't get a photo and today you probably won't get one either. The reason behind this comes from the fact that I spent three hours in the verizon store yesterday getting a new contract. Today, I'm decluttering. The church we attend is having a yard sale in two days so I'm finally getting around to cleaning out our "stuff." It was a tough job to try and accomplish with Sammy always at home, but now that he's in school for six hours a day, I have time! I promise to make up the lack of photos this weekend.

Tonight we found this little guy in our backyard. He was like 2 &1/2 inches long. And that is the comedic end toa disastrous day. Yes, disastrous. Thank you and goodnight. 

So it would appear that we had a toy box explosion overnight. Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you, I've just put off cleaning Sammy's toybox out. However, Christmas and birthday season is rapidly approaching in our house so something has to be done since somehow the toys are like rabbits and multiply faster then I realize. I am thankful to say that not only will I be cleaning this mess up tomorrow for the church yard sale that is takin place on Saturday, but we live REALLY close to a thrift store so whatever doesn't sell at the yard sale will not being coming home with me. Not at all. Does anyone have any tips or tricks for organizing?! I sure could use some help. Or maybe someone to do it for me. 

I love that Sammy's school provides breakfast, lunch and a snack for him. Most days he enjoys it and I sure do like not having to worry about packing something for him every day.  As for school, he seems to be adjusting well. I love hearing all the stories he tells me at the end of the day.

It's Monday. It feels like a Monday. Apologies for not posting a picture the last two days. Sammy and I have been sick. We're better and I will post three pictures later today. Here are your first two. The top one is what I suggested danny and I dress as for Halloween his year. Danny didn't seem too keen, so it's back to the drawin board for me! This next one is a Liz Climo cartoon I saw and loved. Liz Climo is an amazing artist (and no, she isn't paying me to promote her.) if you have a chance, you should check out her cartoons. :) have a good Monday! 

Today, Sammy was sick and stayed home from school. I have a feeling he was a little out of it when he woke up from his nap because he was saying all sorts of nonsense. "Have you ever seen a noodle on a bird's head?" "When I cough it sounds like a siren, weooooh weooooh wooooo." 

Throw back Thursday.  This is my great grandma and me when I was just a little one. She passed away this March and it is one of my biggest regrets that I never learned history first hand from her while she was still alive. 

Another lesson learned today: don't draw on the table. I am rather impressed that Sammy traced his own hand so well.

Last night I started on a special secret project for an event at the church I attend. I'm in for lots of work in the coming weeks! 

Today is Sammy's second day of preschool. Leaving him there this morning was a complete 180 from last week. He cried all the way to school that he wanted to stay home with me and when I left him in the class, he had his head slumped to his chest and tears running down his face. The weather outside is matching our down trodden moods today. 

Photo 1 of 365. Today (and a lot of days) will probably be of or relating to Sammy. Tonight it rained and I reminded him several times not to splash in puddles and get his shoes wet. I told him the shoes he has are the only pair he fits right now and they needed to be dry for school tomorrow. Needless to say, about five minutes after church is over, I see him splashing about in a puddle. This made me so mad at first. I told danny I wanted to send him to school tomorrow with wet shoes because he disobeyed. I have to say though that I am so glad God doesn't handle our disobedience the way I wanted to handle Sammy's. 

So it's been two years since I've written a blog post. Yikes. That's a long time! Plenty has happened since then. For example, I'll be celebrating my sixth wedding anniversary followed by Sammy's fifth birthday! Also, we're expanding out family by a new baby! February 10, 2015 is my due date. And now for the big announcement, YOU are seeing this because I'm getting off facebook! Starting on Wednesday, Sept 10, 2015, I will be doing a photo a day challenge for myself for an ENTIRE year. I'm also going to use this time to focus not only on my growing family, but my relationship with God, and learning new skills. Now that I've made my announcement, I'm signing off for the day. -Rinda