A blog about my adventures in sewing and housewivery.
5/365
Get link
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps
Throw back Thursday.
This is my great grandma and me when I was just a little one. She passed away this March and it is one of my biggest regrets that I never learned history first hand from her while she was still alive.
It's been a while since I blogged. I was doing so good too! Anyway, recap of my life. Sammy stayed home from school last Friday with a sore throat. Still sick on Saturday and Sunday. Got to make a dress Sunday night. (Yay for accomplishing some of my new year's goals!) No school for the holiday Monday. Made pajamas for sammy Monday night. Field trip on Tuesday. Barnes & Noble! Wooooooo Church on Wednesday and now it's Thursday. And thus another week was spent. Now onto what I really want to say here. It's now much closer to what would have been Baby Day/Homegoing from Nicu. And it is emotionally exhausting to think about. I'm truly happy for the friends who were pregnant at the same time as me, but I am so sad for us. I miss my baby. It's hard to look at pictures of him, so I don't. It's hard to think about not having him, so I focus my mental energies elsewhere, which is probably why you will see a lot of new things made this year. It's hard
I'm not going to apologize for this post. Today marks two months since Liam passed away. It's still hard every day to wake up knowing that I don't get to hold my baby. I see success stories of other babies born at 23 weeks and I wonder if we made the right choice. Then I remember how uneasy Liam looked lying there in his little glass cage. Then I remember how his nurse, Andrea, said he looked so at peace snuggled up to me. I wanted peace for him and to know one hundred percent without a doubt that we loved him, even if it meant letting him go. It's hard to know that if I were still pregnant, I'd be rapidly approaching my due date. It's hard to think that if Liam were still alive, he'd be approaching the possible "come home" date. It's hard to see baby posts so I'm just gonna tell you, I've hidden almost all of them. I want to scream and yell that it's not fair that all the other moms get their babies and I don't get mine, pree
Comments
Post a Comment