Deployment roller coaster.
The term roller coaster, for most people brings thoughts of adrenaline and excitement. For others, nervousness and anxiety. I think it pairs well with deployments.
Many of you reading this do not know, nor ever personally will, the emotions of a deployment. I can't give you just one term to describe it as a whole accurately. There is a chart that is shown at every pre-deployment briefing that explains the high peaks of emotion in the few months at beginning and end of deployments. It's not lying. This is our third deployment and it never changes.
I can tell you limited knowledge of what was going through my hubby's brain in those weeks leading up to this deployment, and plenty of what I was thinking. He was focusing on taking care of things that might cause problems from me later in the deployment like setting up auto payments for most of the major bills. He didn't want to worry about us while he was gone. I was focused on spending as much time with him as possible so I wouldn't regret it later. Boy, we had some arguments about how to spend our time. He wanted to chill at home. I wanted to go places. There was plenty of restlessness and anxiety. Throw in some sadness, blend it up and you've got yourself a big ole emotion smoothie.
It's leveled out though. Relief was the next big emotional milestone. To get that first call knowing he's okay was like being on cloud 9. After that, a routine was created. Sammy and I go by our days one at a time. Baby steps to staying busy.
Now we're about to hit the other peak. I've mentioned that I can't send any more mail and that's pretty much when you start the steady incline to the top of Mount Return. Now rumors of homecoming dates are flying. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. Some moments I want to jump around like a kid who's been turned loose in a candy store. Others, I worry about how Sammy will handle this upset to our "normal". There's a lot to take care of for a homecoming. Finding out dates is just the tip of the iceberg. Banners need to be made. You have to find out who, if anyone, is going with you to homecoming. And that's just how I'm feeling and what I have to do. My Marine is making plans himself. Things he'd like to do when he gets home, people he wants to visit, and the restlessness of wanting this stinking deployment to be over already. Wow oh wow.
I think I need to go mull over my feelings with a nice cold Dr Pepper.
Many of you reading this do not know, nor ever personally will, the emotions of a deployment. I can't give you just one term to describe it as a whole accurately. There is a chart that is shown at every pre-deployment briefing that explains the high peaks of emotion in the few months at beginning and end of deployments. It's not lying. This is our third deployment and it never changes.
I can tell you limited knowledge of what was going through my hubby's brain in those weeks leading up to this deployment, and plenty of what I was thinking. He was focusing on taking care of things that might cause problems from me later in the deployment like setting up auto payments for most of the major bills. He didn't want to worry about us while he was gone. I was focused on spending as much time with him as possible so I wouldn't regret it later. Boy, we had some arguments about how to spend our time. He wanted to chill at home. I wanted to go places. There was plenty of restlessness and anxiety. Throw in some sadness, blend it up and you've got yourself a big ole emotion smoothie.
It's leveled out though. Relief was the next big emotional milestone. To get that first call knowing he's okay was like being on cloud 9. After that, a routine was created. Sammy and I go by our days one at a time. Baby steps to staying busy.
Now we're about to hit the other peak. I've mentioned that I can't send any more mail and that's pretty much when you start the steady incline to the top of Mount Return. Now rumors of homecoming dates are flying. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. Some moments I want to jump around like a kid who's been turned loose in a candy store. Others, I worry about how Sammy will handle this upset to our "normal". There's a lot to take care of for a homecoming. Finding out dates is just the tip of the iceberg. Banners need to be made. You have to find out who, if anyone, is going with you to homecoming. And that's just how I'm feeling and what I have to do. My Marine is making plans himself. Things he'd like to do when he gets home, people he wants to visit, and the restlessness of wanting this stinking deployment to be over already. Wow oh wow.
I think I need to go mull over my feelings with a nice cold Dr Pepper.
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