Love and the light

So it's 5:30 in the morning and I've only had about three hours of sleep, but this just suddenly came into my mind and heart. It's kind of long and I'm sorry if it's not your cup of tea, but I couldn't just lay in bed and fall back asleep because I knew if I did, this blog would never get written. 

Let me ask you a question Reader. Has there ever been any one in your life that you just thought about them and suddenly you were cringing or frustrated? How about on the verge of tears because that person hurt you and they don't know it?  I know there have been people in my life and there are still people in my life that make me react in a negative manner. 

That being said, let me say this. Our pastor spoke a message last night from Matthew 5:13-16 about being the shining light in this dark world. (Hi Pastor Tommy!) It was a good message, something I needed to hear. I've read the scripture before. It's underlined in my bible. It reads, for those of you who aren't familiar with the Bible:

13You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses it's saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14You are the light of the world. A city on a hilltop cannot be hidden,15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see the good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

As I said, this was something I needed to hear. I have battled with my human nature for as long as I can remember about this. I'm sure it's probably the same for you. Someone you know says or does something that hurts you. You don't say anything and eventually the rift between you grows. Now here you are and every single time your thoughts turn to that person, your feelings of betrayal, bitterness, anger, frustration, and just plain ole hurt show back up.

Now this next part is pretty personal to me. It's something only a few people know about and I'm going to apologize right now if I offend anyone, but I HAVE to make known that my feelings were hurt by what happened and to this day a bit of that hurt still lingers. I'm writing this blog partly to help me cope with forgiving and moving on, as a way to shine my light even to those who hurt me.

A situation happened a few years back that ended up pretty badly for someone I know in my husband's family. How do I know this? I was there when it all started. I saw what was happening and as an outsider, I tried to warn of the potential bad outcome. As it is with families, sometimes you have to let them learn from their mistakes. It doesn't make the fact that you saw what was going to happen and were seemingly powerless to change anything, any less painful. Anyway, I was called out several months after. Not by name, but again as few knew the situation, I KNEW it was me that was being called out. I felt I hadn't done anything to warrant such treatment, but it still happened. For the longest time after, and sometimes still today, I struggled with negative thoughts about the situation and the people involved. I didn't want anything to do with them. I didn't want to be hurt again. I can't begin to tell you how sick I felt over what happened. It's so hard as a human being, a sinner, to say it's over/forgiven and it to truly be, but God's word say we have to forgive. The Bible says in 1Peter 4:8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. 

 That means that even when we're hurt by something that was said or done to us, we still need to forgive.

We still have to be a light and love the people that hurt us. No matter what was said or done, I need to make sure that the human, sinful side of me doesn't win out over being a God fearing person. I need to show those who hurt me that I still love them, that I'm still a light on a lampstand. 

This brings me to my next point. Not only was I thinking of what happened to me in my life a few years ago, but I was thinking about a situation that has happened more recently. Sometime before Danny deployed last year, a new family moved into the house next to us. I didn't interact with them much until August of last year, right before Irene hit. Since then things have been crazy. I won't go into it here, because it's not my story to tell. Let's say that things have been escalating for a few months. My sinful self has been sitting in my house thinking ALL the wrong things about these people and the situation they're facing. I don't know them, but I know me.  I don't know their lives, but I know mine.

"I don't want to be associated with that kind of behavior." "I don't want my son around that." "They need to move somewhere else." "At least, I'm not doing what they're doing." And some far worse things. I've been annoyed by the goings on surrounding this family. I've been frustrated. I've handled myself poorly.

And what's WORSE is I have sat back, watching everything happen and thinking "I'm not getting involved. No way! Uh-uh. Ain't happening, I'd rather eat my toenails than to say or do anything for them."

How can I say I'm a Christian if I can't and won't show them the light? The simple answer is I CAN'T. Proverbs 20:27 says The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being. All the thoughts I've had, have been wrong. Everything God wouldn't want his people to think. God knows this. God sees and knows EVERYTHING I think before I think it, everything I say before I say it, everything I do before I do it. Psalm 139:1-4 says just that. My favorite part of those verses is this line "you are familiar with all my ways." God is familiar to me, to my ways. He knows how I'm going to react before I even react to whatever it may be. And Jeremiah29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God not only knows what we are going to say or do, He knows what he wants us to do. He knows who He wants us to witness to. He knows who He has for us to help.

 

So okay, I am no better then the people living next to me. I may not be involved in the things they are, but I'm still a sinner. I still have faults. I face impatience, unforgiving attitudes, selfishness, and anger just to name a few. I say things and think things that probably has God shaking His head at me! By having this kind of attitude, these thoughts towards other people, I'm ultimately putting my light under a barrel, so none can see it. I don't want that!  Romans 3:23 says for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. I'm a sinner JUST like everyone else. I have faults. Sometimes I fail. To have love, you have to show it. You have to give it, in order to keep receiving it.

It's so easy to show your "light" and "love" to people you only see on Sundays and Wednesdays, but what about the people in your life everyday? Are you shining your light in a way that your family will want to spend time with you? Are you getting your priorities in the order they need to be in so that you CAN show that light and love to others? Are you making it easy for your friends and neighbors to see God at work in you? Give up those hurt feelings and bitter thoughts. They won't get you anywhere but down in the dumps. They won't help you win souls for the Lord. Ephesians 5:13-15 tells us that the light makes everything visable and reminds us that we need to watch how we live. Having negative attitudes towards our family because they hurt us, is affecting the way our light shines. I'm sure we've probably unknowingly hurt someone in our family a time or two. Having negative thoughts towards our neighbors is most definitely going to affect how we live and how our light shines. I mean honestly if my neighbors were able to see my exact thoughts about the situation they're in, they'd probably run for the hills away from God. I do not want that. 

As I close this blog post, keep in mind how you are showing your light and love to others. Negative thoughts, such as bitterness or unforgiveness, will certainly dim your light shining in this already dark world.